Archive for Management Styles

Management Styles and Earrings

Posted in Management with tags , , on March 23, 2012 by jrvitalis

In my last post we talked about management styles and the differences between Puppy and Kitten. But it wasn’t until Kitten got her ears pierced recently that I realized just how different the girls really are.

Puppy started asking to get her ears pierced when she was three or four. I had my ears pierced on my 6th birthday with my godmother. Afterward, she took me out to lunch to celebrate and I still remember how special this event made me feel.

Wanting my girls to have the same type of memory, I told Puppy she had to wait until she was 6. She was fine with that. When the day finally came, she spent an eternity agonizing over exactly which earrings she would choose. After the piercing, she burst into tears and continued to sob all the way through lunch. She was thrilled with her earrings, but apparently the pain was much greater than she’d expected.

Kitten’s experience was totally different.

From the time she could talk, Kitten was adamant that she never wanted to get her ears pierced. “Never, never, NEVER,” she said.

“It’s your decision,” I always replied.

It was quite a shock when she came bounding into our bedroom one morning shrieking, “I want to get my ears pierced!”

After prying my eyes open, I managed to point out that she’d never wanted them pierced before.

“Now I do. Today!”

I was tempted to say she had to wait until she was 6, but I knew if Puppy said she was ready to have her ears pierced, then she was ready.

I showed her the earring choices online, and she immediately pointed to a pair of pink flowers. When we arrived at the store, she marched up to the desk and announced she wanted her ears pierced. She didn’t even hesitate when she climbed into the chair for the actual piercing. After the first one was done, I asked if she was okay.

She blinked twice. “I’m fine, Mom.”

After the second ear was done, she hopped down grinning ear to ear.  No tears, no fuss, just pure joy.

I know she’s never regretted her decision because after she tested for her orange belt in karate recently, she came rushing off the floor and I gave her a big hug.

“I’m so proud of you,” I said.

She pulled back. Instead of responding, she tucked her hair behind her ear and asked, “Do you think anyone noticed my earrings?”

I’ve got to give the girl credit: at least she’s focused!

Gift Cards and Stomach Aches

Posted in Management with tags , , on March 4, 2012 by jrvitalis

During a CBS class on leadership, we read and analyzed case after case regarding effective management styles. It would have been nice if one style had emerged as more or less effective than another, but with so many variables involved, this is a complicated and fascinating topic.

I’ve often wondered how much of any given leadership style is innate, and how much is learned. In our house, for example, my husband and I have very different styles. I tend to be more structured, while he tends to be more go-with-the flow. Both of our styles are effective, and we generally end up at the same place, we just take different paths to get there.

I can see these types of differences in the girls as well. For example, Puppy received several gift cards on her last birthday. We went to some of the stores right away. Puppy browsed, but she couldn’t find anything she really, really wanted. Last week during a Mommy/daughter day, we spent the morning browsing books at Barnes & Noble. Since she’d been saving her B&N gift card all winter, she was determined to pick a book out to take home. After browsing for more than an hour, she started complaining that she had a stomach ache.

“Are you sick?” I asked.

“No, I think the pressure from having to pick one is making my stomach hurt. What if I get it home and read it and then never read it again?”

Needless to say, we left the store empty-handed.

Kitten is the exact opposite. When she had a few dollars of her own to spend recently, she marched into the store, scanned the toy aisle briefly, and then pointed to the toy she wanted. Sure that she would regret her choice, I tried to talk her out of it and coached her to take her time making her selection. She remained adamant. Much to my surprise, she brought the toy home and has played with it continually ever since.

This scenario plays itself out over and over in our home. Puppy likes to analyze things and think about every possible scenario before committing to a decision. Kitten tends to make snap decisions, but not out of haste or carelessness; she simply knows exactly what she wants and doesn’t hesitate to act on her opinions.

It will be interesting to watch these two grow up and see to what extent these early indications of management style influence their lives down the road. In the meantime, let’s hope Puppy’s gift cards don’t expire anytime soon!

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